The madness that is after the girls fill their bellies and right before bath. Full on dance parties have become a regular thing in this house. Please excuse the (twirling) blur.
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A handful of girlfriends and I grabbed a bite to eat and saw a movie on a whim this last Wednesday night. I share life with these girls and each one of us can be called mom.. Our kiddos age range from 4 years to 4 weeks, and there are a couple gals with babes on the way.
7 boys, 7 girls, a set of triplets, and my baby twins.
We are MOM.
It starts with the intro of Allyson, a momma of three whose hubby is usually away on business. Allyson struggles to find the time and inspiration to be a mommy blogger (holla), but she’s caught up in the insanity that is chasing after her kids, cleaning up their messes and keeping them alive on a daily basis.
She also happens to be a control freak who’s obsessive about cleanliness, which, to me, is a difficult thing to be when you’re a parent. Amen, girlfriend.
Such a sweet movie. Rich, light-hearted, and good for the soul. But..I couldn’t help myself.
I honestly couldn’t feel like I could relate.
Of course there has been a time or two that my house is a SHAMBLES, and I have been known to polish off a (small?) bag of candy. But, in the 17 months that I have been a mother, I can honestly say that I’ve never been to that point of complete hopelessness that seems to be a struggle many of my mom friends go through – and like Allyson of this movie played her life to be. She desperately wanted to get away. Even for just one moms’ night out with a couple of friends.
Please do not misread or misunderstand what I’m saying. Being a mom is hard. My hardest days of the week are my days spent at home with Parker and Jolie. You have to be ‘on’. all.the.time. We are currently in a stage of constant frustration due to their inability to communicate effectively and my inability to understand. I want to pull my hair out when Parker lets out a shrilling scream when I incorrectly offer her water instead of milk.. because, mom, you should have read my mind.
As the movie went on, these friends of mine (that are all SAHM) were in tears as the movie came to a close. I felt like the coldest, most empty hearted, mom in that theater. WHY wasn’t I crying at these sentiments? Why wasn’t I having these same struggles as some of these stay at home moms with one, two, FOUR kids like the gals in my life group.
Each one could relate. They were DYING for some ‘me’ time.
GET me out of this house. Get me a way from these kids.
Last night I had a full 24 hours of ‘me’ time. Jordan was working over time at the fire station, and BB picked up the girls before I went to work and took them for a sleep over at her house. I was all alone. I was halfway excited to be ‘alone’ for the evening – sans kids and sans husband. A ‘girls night’ of dinner and a movie seemed like perfection, and it totally was.. until I came home to an empty house.
WAY too quiet. No sound machine coming over the monitor to lull me to sleep. No hubby to snuggle into. I became terribly lonely – almost depressed- like. How does that happen in the 7 minutes I had been home alone?
I was elated at the thought of a longggg shower of shaving my legs and washing my hair- letting the conditioner set for the full recommended 5 minutes as it instructs on the bottle. I even bragged about it at dinner with the girls. .
Wrong. The sadness carried over to the morning. I hit the snooze 13 times (because I didn’t sleep well at all) and pulled my dirty hair into a ponytail before heading out to work – with no one to wave as I pulled out of the garage. No kiss goodbye from my two favorite little ladies, no stinky diapers to change, no oatmeal to blow because it was too hot.. nothing.
Just me, my dirty hair, and my lonely Greek yogurt for breakfast.
“I don’t ever want to do this again. Oh, and good morning, babe.”
I never want to come home to an empty house after a Moms’ Night Out.
I am busy. I do A LOT. My days are full while I’m at work and playing the dietitian role, and then the moment I walk in the door, I kick off my heals, clip back my bangs, and throw on the momma hat.
I get asked on a daily basis: ‘How do you do it all. I just don’t have the time to even think about doing what you do.’
I think thats MY personal key to happiness and fulfillment in my life. Firs of all, Jesus fills me up. He also provides for me to do what I love the most. Being a mom and being a dietitian. He also blessed me with a husband that is very helpful – plays ‘mom’ just about as much as I do, does the laundry, yard work, cooks, and loves his wife to the moon and back. Get yourself one of these, ladies.
The dietitian thing, the blogging thing, the ‘girls night out’ thing.. those are for me. I keep those things close. I get to do those things in extra time. Separate time.
Carved out just for me.
What all of us women need. Don’t forget about yourself, girls. Take care of you and don’t be in a closet somewhere hiding from your dirty house and crazy brained kiddos (like the gal in the movie).
In all fairness to you SAHM, I think the character in the movie poorly represented the typical Stay-At-Home-Mom – but, with that being said, we can all relate in someway to our own life as ‘mom’. It is, in fact, crazy busy and some days we all need a break.
My life is rich. My life is full. I am completely satisfied in my role as a mother, wife, friend, and employee. I wish all of you momma’s out there the same fullness – whether you work full-time, part-time, or stay at home. Each of those roles are different and difficult in their own unique way.
In that same token- As a mom of any and all types – the frustrations are real, the exhaustion is real, and stress is real.
..but oh-so incredibly worth every minute.
-mommy blogger out.
Love this post! Even though I am not a SAHM, except in the summers, I can relate. I really want to see that movie!
First, I love the dance party photos! My girls used to love dance parties before bed and I miss that stage so much now.
Second, I can completely relate to what you're saying. The media likes to portray SAHMs as overburdened and bitter. It's hard, yes. But it's also an amazing privilege to spend every day with your babies.
You have an amazing attitude and sincerely make it look easy to have twins, a good marriage, a job and look totally cute too.
I loved this post. It was so real & honest. I feel the same way you do about so many things. I am somebody who needs a lot to do, as well. You hit the nail on the head with this post, I loved it.
The Mile High Mom
I love reading your blog and this post made me think about my own parenting of my nine month old twins…I notice you mention your faith and was wondering if you do any kind of daily devotional? If so, can you recommend anything? I've been thinking of spending some time doing so to be a more mindful parent. Have a great weekend enjoying your family!
I feel you too. Over the last five years I've been a work full time mom, a stay at home mom, and a part time working mom. I have to say that they are all equally challenging rolls. I still do not like it when my kiddos aren't home. I always wake up extra early when they have a sleep over with Grammy to go grab donuts and bring them over just to be able to get them up and going. It's hard work being a mom but not a day goes by where I don't beam at my boys and think about how completely blessed I am.
Love this post!! I saw this movie last weekend and thought it was great. (It might have helped that it was mainly filmed where I live- Birmingham!) But I agree- I love being a mom and although it can definitely be hard at times, it's the most amazing thing in the world!! 🙂
my oldest is graduating May 28th and I am so happy/sad.. I have 3 girls and I love being with them more than anything.. I love to cook for them, brush their hair, tickle their backs..You are a great momma!
I completely relate to you. I LOVE being a Mama so much. It is like I was always meant to do this. Sure I have moments when I don't react in the best way or I get frustrated because my daughter, who is 13 months won't let me get something done that I really need to do but I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.
I have to work full-time right now because my husband is in school but I make the best of it. My husband helps out with lots of things around the house too and that makes a big difference.
I'll have to see this movie once it comes out on video.