mama confessions III

this post brought to you by a starbucks run after the preschool pickup line and a random late naptime.. because a certain someone was up at 5am and then refused to nap during her normal time this morning, so I am forcing her down now.  
forcing.  theres the big fat joke of the day. 
look at that face.
..and cue the hollering “mama” from the crib.

moments with my girls have become increasingly comical.. Parker and Jolie have a mind of their very own and express it often.  if I think about it I usually type them out in the notes of my phone and eventually share them.. because most of the time they are too good not to share.
Parker + Jolie’s preschool teacher clued me in that Parker has been inviting all her friends over for a party.. a party that consists of rubbing my belly and talking to her little brother. 
..what kind of food do I serve at this party?
I throw about 80% of preschool “art work” away. every now and then they’ll come home with really cute stuff and I’ll hang it up for a week or two and then it’s in the trash.. err, Recycle. We r e c y c l e. 
after THE most unsuccessful ride to the park on their brand new bikes (think screaming and crying and a skinned knee..) Parker casually mentions “I don’t want Santa to bring these bikes for Christmas ever, ever again.”  
first parental win of 2017.
while listening to Justin Beiber radio on Pandora:
Parker: mom, you music just said BUTT.
oh..and I probably have a crush on Justin Beiber.  probably.
I may or may not have called a radio station one morning this week 49 times in attempts to win tickets to his concert.    
Baker beats the crap out of me all day. literally giving me a giant slobbery kiss one moment and the next its a solid slap in the nose. she hits me all the time and thinks it’s completely hilarious! and it’s not good enough unless she’s gouged my eye or pulled a chunk of my hair out. the twins never hit me before so this is.. new. 
Parker kicked me in the shin two days ago. So, um, never say neverrrr. 
see what I did there? beleiber for life.
I get anxiety about passing a bathroom and not using it.  like.. I will 100% regret not using it and scold myself later when I have to pee SO BAD.  
Parker slaps me on the butt about twice a day and tells me “I’m doing a good job”.. most recently while I was washing the dinner dishes. 
I have about 14 unopened boxes of the cutest thank you cards- Target always has the best ones!  I always buy them with plans to thank people when they bring a meal or buy a gift for a birthday party or host dinner.. but not a one is ever sent.  just know that I have the best of intentions, friends.
while getting dressed for school.. mind you- its 32 degrees for the HIGH on this day:
Parker: I WILL pick out what I am going to wear!!
me: Parker, I already have laid out what you are wearing..
Parker.. carrying a pair of cotton shorties and a tee shirt out of the closet..
me: Parker, no it is VERY cold outside.  you are wearing pants and this sweater.

speaking of the cold..  when taking the pictures above:
Jolie: its reaaaaally really cold!
Parker: you better be giving me 5 candies for this.

while preparing her a pb+j for lunch:
Jordan: I cut it in half jo, is that okay or did I mess up?
Jolie: well dad. you just really messed that up didnt you. 
the morning after taking down all the Christmas decor:
Parker: ohmuhGOSH where is the TREE?! 
Jordan: well we had to take it down because it’s not Christmas anymore. Maybe next year we will put it all up before thanksgiving so we can enjoy it a little longer. 
Parker: that would be splendid. 

there was a time in my life that I wouldnt leave the house without makeup on or my hair looking completely put together.
 ..I picked the girls up from preschool today in my slippers and sweatpants.  that might have been a new low for me.

January 5, 2017

  1. MCulver says:

    I love every word of this.

  2. MCulver says:

    I love every single word of this.

  3. Darcy Potter says:

    HILARIOUS!! I am busting up laughing over here πŸ™‚ This is the story of my life but with one so I can only imagine with 3 and one on the way! Kudos to you girlfriend!!!

    PS. I still have your box of goodies to send out that had all intentions to send before Xmas and now that it is well after New Years I am doing good…lol The package may get sent sooner than later however it will be wrapped in Xmas paper…ha πŸ™‚ Just a little Hanna stuff I promised months ago

    Hugs and luvs,

  4. 26 weeks pregnant with boy number three over here and I feel like I could have written this post myself. My youngest totally hits me in the face too! What's up with that? And I've gone out in leggings more times than I can count even though I use to swear that leggings weren't pants, but what preggo has time for actual pants?

  5. SeekingGrace says:

    Oh my gosh, You just explained my day to day life! My daughter turns four in February and has a very STRONG mind of her own – which she lets us all know often! Glad I am not the only one living in a circus πŸ˜‰ we are 35 weeks with our second girl and she feels the need to tell everyone that "see? Isn't my mommy's a belly is huge?! It's not usually, there is a baby in there you know" haha!

  6. She is so adorable! She looks about the same age as my youngest. πŸ™‚

  7. These are so funny! I am cracking up at the Santa/bike comment!

  8. Mandy says:

    I never get enough of posts where people share what their kids say! My son is almost two so just starting to talk semi-coherently, can't wait to see what he comes up with haha.

  9. Jen V. says: That's all!

    Have a great Friday!

  10. FelineGrace says:

    Pfft. Not a new low, a new high. You are doing an amazing job. From one childless internet stranger, I am always in awe when I'm reminded of all that you mamas do. My bestie has 4 of her own, and from day one I've believed her to be a real life super hero. You are too πŸ™‚

  11. hahahha at the Bieber thing πŸ™‚ I LOVE him and my oldest, Jacoby, requested his version of Santa Claus is coming to town the ENTIRE Christmas season πŸ™‚ We miiiight listen to him some…or a lot! My husband is not super proud of this lol .

  12. Lindsey says:

    You are adorable and you are raising adorable girls and I CANNOT wait to see how this little boy blue will turn out πŸ™‚

  13. That never sending thank you cards life…I can relate! My boys are 19 months (officially, today) and I still have thank you cards from my baby shower, written, but never sent!

  14. You can use little hoots app to help preserve their quotes! It takes a little more work than just writing them in your phone but it's super cute!

  15. Amber – I actually did the same for the Justin Beiber tickets and WON! (In Denver). So now I have 2 tickets and I am not even 100% sure I will even go in August.