What’s In a Name | Baby Three
When we found out we were pregnant with our sweet baby number three, Jordan and I had already been discussing names. I have an enormous powerhouse of a name list in the notes section of my phone. It has been a running document, so to speak, of names I/we have come across in the last six years that struck our desire and heart strings for naming future bab(ies).
When we heard the name Parker for the firs time, we were watching a random television show, and one of the main characters in that show carried the name Parker, and did it well. She was absolutely adorable, spunky, and really, really funny. Almost in the same instant, we looked at each other and nodded in agreement that Parker was an amazing name, and we were going to use it.
When we heard our top boy name for the first time, about 6 years ago, I was standing in church and turned around to introduce myself to the young guy next to me, and he sounded out his name – I almost rhetorically responded by asking him to spell it.
He was so cool. Long beach wavy hair, olive skin, and tall, tall, tall. So. Theres that name.
Choosing Jolie’s name was a little different. We had an entirely different name selected for that sweet baby A in my belly. Things changed after a few comments were made.. and honestly, I couldn’t imagine her being any other name but Jolie Grace. Jolie was a name I had only seen about a billion times in the tabloids (see also: Angelina), but never met anyone with that name before. In fact, that name was at the bottom of my master name list – but over dinner one evening, Jordan mentioned that name and I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
So, she was named and we never looked back.
Up until the excitement of this baby girl number three came about, I had never ever, ever, ever,
e v e r
shared my powerhouse name list with anyone. No one.
I keep calling it a powerhouse name list, because thats exactly what it is.
Its long. Its good. Good for me/us anyway.
I made the mistake of sharing it recently, and the names I had kept secret and near and dear to my heart for years were being shared all over the place.. even being used for names of their own babies. I want to be clear that I KNOW I do not have sole ownership of ANY name, but it was very clear that those names were gleaned from my list. And these are friends I’m talking about. I was crushed. I cried my little pregnant heart out for a week straight. Probably wouldn’t have bothered me as much if hormones wouldn’t have been on their usual roller coaster. But, everyone had their opinions, thoughts, and expressions that I didn’t care to hear at all one bit – and basically it hurt my feelings, and I am allowed to have those.
Names at the top of my boy list being called ‘girly’.
Names at the top of my girl list being called ‘interesting’.
This was all before we actually knew what we here having yet. I was already over the name selection before it even had a chance to be started.
After the short lived annoying chaos that was naming Jolie, we decided then that we would never share another baby name ever again.
And after the experience I had in recently sharing my baby name list, it solidified my reasonings of not wanting to share our ‘top names’ even more.
We have selected a name, and it is perfect. I started praying for her by name and calling her by name, and talking to her by name. It sticks. It is precious. It is perfect.
Honestly, I don’t care if you hate it. When it came to naming this sweet girl, I am the one that has to love it, and I completely understand if not everyone loves our decision. But once this sweet girl has arrived.. I double dog dare you to tell me you hate it.
When I told someone that were not sharing the name, their smart comment in return was ‘I hate the name already.’
Good for you. What is actually GOOD for me is that I know the name and YOU do not.
Not for another 20 weeks or so, that is:)
It is the number one question I get these days- “Does baby girl have a name?” Yes, yes she does.
I sent my running name list to Jordan the week before we found out gender, and he picked his favorites out of that list, and the name we picked for her name was one of them. The name we picked wasn’t a name that was in my own ‘top’ list at all. Wasn’t even a name I thought I liked all that much. The moment I read his list and thought about it, and pictured our family of four calling our newest member by this name, I couldn’t get it out of my head.
Above all other reasons for not sharing her name before she arrives, we want to keep her special. Parker and Jolie get a lot of attention for many reasons, but also simply that they are twins. There are two at the same time, and that in itself is absolutely amazing to people. I wanted to keep Baby Three and this pregnancy as special & different as I possibly can. Carrying twins was such a unique experience, and I want this pregnancy to be just as unique:) She is SO special to us. Literally our miracle baby. The baby that I was beginning to think that I was never going to be able to carry beyond 10 weeks. The baby that happened on God’s timing, and we are so very thankful.
20 more weeks, and you guys.. it is flying.
disclaimer:
I am in no way trying to seek attention on this post.
It is my way of expressing our reasons for not sharing out baby girl’s name before she is born, and in no way am I attempting to offend anyone.
This is my outlet and a safe place for me to express my own opinions:)
Harassing and just plain rude comments will not be tolerated or published.
I will not be attacked from behind a computer screen for many reason but most importantly because you are not only attacking me, but those that commented with support.
February 24, 2015
AGREE! So many people ruined the original names we had for our girls. ruined!!! That we kept ours secret. There is nothing worse that attaching someone's negativity to your child's name. We named our youngest two girls Grae and Beckett (yes, beckett is a SHE and no I have never seen the show Castle. Her name is from a childhood memory from my sports loving husband.) I still to this day (she is 6) get asked if I forgot the C in Grae…nope. Her name is Grae, not Grace. 🙂 Our kids…our chosen names and I couldn't imagine them any other way.
Funny story, I used to be so judgmental of peoples baby names until I had my own and realized what a special, personal decision it is. My husband and I also kept our daughters name a secret until birth. I knew I didn't want to hear peoples opinions or disappointments about the child's name ahead of time. The truth is, once the baby is here, no one will imagine her to have any name but the one you gave her. You are doing the right thing!
Good for you, Amber. Naming a child is such an intimate thing and everyone has their own reasons for choosing a name. There is no right or wrong way to do so. As long as you and Jordan love it, that's all that matters. When we were expecting our girls we didn't find out their genders AND didn't share our 4 names picked or ranking order depending on what we ended up having. We got a lot of flack for our decisions but didn't want anyone's opinion. Once your sweet girl is born all anyone will care about is how amazingly adorable and special she is!
I'm with you 100%. True story. I told my Mother that we were not going to share our babies names, nor were we taking suggestions. Although she still sent me what SHE thought were great names, she knows I mean business and has pretty much dropped it. We were having a conversation a few weeks ago and I asked her if Louise was a family name because I've always loved it as a middle name. Turns out it's not but she said to me "I think that's really cute for a middle name. But not a first name…that's a horrible name for a little girl". Hmmm. Thanks for proving my point, MOM! (btw, I still adore that name…middle or first). Our names will be secret until their birthday. And I double dog dare anyone to turn their nose up at them!!
I'm so sorry that your Master List was borrowed from, made fun of, and used! It feels like such a violation when that happens, even though they are "just names"! I would feel just as hurt. We, also kept our daughter's name (Margaret Elise – we call her Maggie) a secret until after she was born. We didn't tell ANYONE…not our parents, not even the doctor when she was performing the c-section! All the doctor's and nurses teased us, but we wanted to wait until we saw her sweet face and announce her name to the world! I love following your sweet family and pray that your pregnancy continues to go smoothly. Can't wait to "meet" this 3rd precious little girl when she arrives and you can introduce us all!
People are ridiculous! Good for you to sticking to your guns. Don't let it ruin the special experience for you. I bet the name is beautiful. 🙂
I'm sorry that your names have been used! That is so frustrating. We decided to keep our baby's name a surprise until she's born because I didn't want to be swayed and hear people's opinions about it. We shared her initials, and people have been guessing which is fun. But i'm glad we decided not to share it.
Absolutely love your blog, found it on Pinterest a while back when I was pregnant with my first and have been following since! Just wanted to say, You didn't sound like a brat what so ever. In high school I knew I wanted the names Aubry and Maddison, my friend got pregnant right after graduation (2006) and named the first Aubry and then a year later got pregnant again and named her Maddison. From that day on I kept my new girls names very private. We finally had our first in 2013, and he was a boy. But he has a unique name. Well, the spelling is unique. Kaydan (pronounced Caden). The combination of both of our dearest friends, KAYla and jorDAN. Then we got pregnant again 8 months later and were blessed with another boy. He was nameless until 8 months of my pregnancy because I wanted him to have such a good name like Kaydan,and every name we came up with someone had something negative to say about each name. We finally decided on Rylan, and it took me up into the very end to finally announce it. We have 2 more girl names now and only a handful of people know, and they know I will do damage if they take these too.
Keep baby 3's name close to you. Parker and Jolie are such adorable names and totally fit with them. Baby 3 will have such a great name too! Can't wait to hear what it is! Hope all is well with you and your pregnancy and family!
xo, Amanda
duhitsmed.blogspot.com
I think this is an awesome decision! We did the same thing with our little guy and if we ever have any others, we plan to do the same. We had some people get pretty annoyed that we wouldn't tell the name and it almost turned into a game. This is your sweet miracle baby and you can name her anything you want! I hate people giving opinions on these decisions like you have experienced!
I'm jealous that you have actually picked her name!! I am so for everyone else's opiniona though, those people stink! We don't find out the sex of our babies and it's super hard to come up with two sets of names that hubby and I agree on. I'm due in May and I'm sure we are going in to give birth and still won't be sure! Although two names on my list are already taken by new additions to the daycare where my son goes. So not fair!! They werent even popular names!! I do have a question though…do Parker and Jolie know the name of their sister?? I was always worried that if we found out the sex and picked a name that we would tell our son and he would tell everyone!
I think this is great Amber! Our little guy is 8 months old and we didnt know the gender or reveal our names to anyone until he arrived. I agree its a very intimate thing and no one should take that away from you! Soak up every moment with that sweet baby girl! It's a time for you and your family to cherish! All of us readers will be swooning over her soon!
I can't stand when people share their dislike for a name… why would they even think that is something that would be okay to share with the parents of that future (said named) baby. I chose not to share my names (except with my mom and a few close friends), and I am so glad I went that route… although my mom did tell me that Brooklyn sounded like a "soap opera" name. 😉 I told her it was a good thing it wasn't her child. Ha! I can't wait to hear this sweet baby girl's name!
i cannot wait to love on this baby just as much as P&J — but in the meantime, can you please name my baby? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA At the rate we are going I'll be lucky to have a name by the time he is ready to make his appearance
love you lady XOXO!
I couldn't agree more! We named our first daughter Zoey, with that exact spelling because that is what we fell in love with, before we even knew baby #1 was a girl.
Our second is due May 20th, a boy, and for awhile we didn't tell anyone his name. His name will be Jordan as a matter of fact lol! Family tradition is JMM initials for boys so we were very secretive about picking.
Good for you mama, your family is precious and I love reading your blog.
You are a smart, smart woman.
I don't have kids, but my bestie just had her first and they kept the name a secret and it really did add to the fun of finding out the baby was born! And the name perfectly fits their little girl.
Stay Strong!
Sorry to hear that you had that happen! I can't understand why people, especially ones who have their own children, don't understand that baby-naming is such a special thing. Names are not chosen lightly, so when someone shares a name it's obviously something they've thought out and love, why crush it? We had the opposite issue while being pregnant with our little girl–we knew 10 (literally, ten!) other people who were pregnant at the same time, so it was like a rush to announce names for fear that others were going to use that name first. Best wishes for yall and baby 3 🙂
Yes! yes, yes, yes to this. We are doing the same thing. When my SIL named her dog our 'boy' name the day after we announced our pregnancy, I was heartbroken. I STILL am. I totally understand how you feel. We had already decided not to share our names until this sweet baby is born, and it's for all of the reasons you listed above and then some. I don't want to hear any opinions on names because honestly, it's no one else's business! Plus, it feels like we'll be introducing a whole new person and a whole new life when this baby is born and it will be so special rather than just announcing weight and length and time of birth. LOVE this! I feel ya, sister!
This baby girls is special, oh so special, and she always will be. We didn't share Brooke and Harrison's names before they were born, and if we're blessed with any more, we won't be sharing theirs either. I will never understand why people think it's ok to give their unsolicited, negative advice when it comes to all things pregnancy and baby, names especially. It's a personal decision, and no one's opinion besides your and Jordan's matter. I'm sure her name is absolutely perfect for her, and I can't wait to hear it in 20ish weeks.
When we picked our 1st son's name, Roman, we got "that's interesting" from some people. Which obviously is code for "stupid" and hurt my feelings. This time around, we are having another boy, and when a person in our family asked the name in private and I told her, she basically said, "I knew someone named "The Name" who was an awful person for "X" reason…" and tried to attach the name we had already solidly decided on to a person neither my husband or I had ever, or would ever, meet and who meant nothing to us. I really wish people would stop giving their 2 cents on other people's baby names at all! It really is a deeply personal thing and the names we picked out had been picked long before our babies were known on this Earth (I have a list too). I will preggo-rant right there with you Amber! This is one of my soap boxes. We are only 15 weeks with this boy and have not announced the name. I am considering announcing after we are 20 weeks (our next ultrasound) but I'm really not sure. One of my good friends kept her name a secret until the birth and now with you doing it, it just seems so smart!
I love this post and 100% agree with it! You keep that name close to your heart. I can't wait to hear it when she is born though! I've started not sharing anymore of our names too. We plan to not share our next babies names with anyone. Granted I haven't kept our boy name a secret, but our next girl name will definitely be a secret! 🙂
That is so sad that your friends were doing that! Never never never share your names! I made the mistake of telling my mother what we were naming son #2 and all she could say was eww eww, no, eww! People can be so cruel.
Stick to your guns! I'm excited to hear the name!
theres so much pressure in a name! and i'm noisy and ask people about names but completely respect the answer of we're not telling. Kind of fun to keep it a secret until she's born. and such a miracle she is!! I'm sure her name will be absolutely perfect and I can't wait to hear it! i love jolie and parker's name!
I hate that people think their opinion on a name matters or are willing to call it weird/interesting/ugly, as if it's going to change your mind about it. I've always felt very strongly about not finding out the sex ahead of time, as well as not sharing potential names. You're choosing to tell them incredibly personal information and then they just make nasty comments about it? Not cool. We have four close couple friends having babies before us, and with our two on the way, my fingers are crossed tightly in hopes than none of them will give their baby one of "our" names before our babies are born.
Good for you! My best friend shared her son's name ahead of time and warned me it was the Worst. Decision. Ever. Once the baby is born, people generally nod/smile to whatever name you pick and I'd rather the nod/smile over the snide opinions!
We didn't share our twin names, and won't be sharing baby #3 name either! Because frankly, I don't care what you think and just TRY and insult a living breathing baby when I've told you their name. It frustrates everyone to not know names, but not as much as it frustrates me to hear their opinion 🙂 🙂
You got this girl! 20 more weeks
I'm totally with you on spilling the name to people. First….people copy. That drives me crazy. Then, they totally act like they came up with it. Be honest….you copied it from your friend. I've always had kid names in mind and never once have I told anyone other than my husband and my mom growing up. I always had that problem growing up where people take your idea and run with it so I knew it was not going to happen with naming my kids.
When Brandon and I were deciding on our names…we prayed and prayed. We wanted to make sure it was the names the Lord had already picked for our kids. It's so special.
I totally think you are doing the right thing. It'll be a big deal when you announce her to everyone. So what if they don't like it. It's not their child. 🙂 🙂
In the meantime, I can't wait to find out what it is. I know it will be beautiful.
Hi Amber! As a new mommy of twin girls, I stumbled upon your blog and Instagram accounts recently and can't get enough of your little ladies! I love their names, their style and their attitude! We too struggled with fertility, and have a pretty awesome story about how God named our children. I knew my family would hate one of the names, but I was sticking to it regardless. I had made a promise to God. The names we chose fit our girls perfectly, and frankly, once they are named, people love them, and in turn they love the name! You are their mommy and you know that little one best! Not to mention, it adds to the build up of the perfect moment that they are born. Good luck to you and your growing family! <3
Hi Amber! As a new mommy of twin girls, I stumbled upon your blog and Instagram accounts recently and can't get enough of your little ladies! I love their names, their style and their attitude! We too struggled with fertility, and have a pretty awesome story about how God named our children. I knew my family would hate one of the names, but I was sticking to it regardless. I had made a promise to God. The names we chose fit our girls perfectly, and frankly, once they are named, people love them, and in turn they love the name! You are their mommy and you know that little one best! Not to mention, it adds to the build up of the perfect moment that they are born. Good luck to you and your growing family! <3
I don't know it obviously but I love the name already ! Lol how dare people tell you they hate it already just because you don't want to share! I have had the same experience with "sharing baby names lists" and it's so annoying!! Lol when we named our beautiful girl Kinsley only a couple people liked it .. I was in love and when I came across the name Kinsley I just knew it was ment to be her name and didn't care what people thought. My sister in law actually told me it sounded stuck up! I told her well it's a good thing I'm the one who gets to name her and not you! Now everyone loves her name and couldn't imagine her name being anything eles! So happy for your beautiful family and can't wait to see what her beautiful became will be ❤️
Stick to your guns sister! I am so sorry to hear that people said tose things about your names and took your ideas! Keep your miracle baby near and dear to your heart! Whatever her sweet name is, it is perfect because it is hers!! Can't wait to meet her 🙂
You know, I was so scared to tell people my son's name too. I was afraid of what they might say, that they might not like it, that they thought we were copying the latest trend (his name is Mason and everyone thought we were copying the Kardashians – I don't even like the Kardashians). No. I like his name and I think it suits him perfectly. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You are the mom and you get to choose the baby's name and if they don't like it, tough. It's not their name, they don't have to like it, but they should respect you enough not to be rude to you about it. Stick to your guns!
I love your blog. It's so fun to read! Can't wait to hear the name you picked!
Forgot to mention in my earlier post; I'm so excited for you to have 3 girls in a row! My older girls are teens now, and sooooo much fun! We share clothes and makeup, and they do my hair! So when people "warn" you about the teenage years, don't be scared. I absolutely love it, and I'm guessing you and your hubby will too!!❤??
I don't think you sound like a brat at all. The hurt you feel definitely came through though, and I'm sorry that people have done that to you. Baby names are so personal, so special. I didn't keep any of mine secret, and I had a few comments that stung. All that matters is that you and your husband love the names. I'm looking forward to hearing your name choice, I'm sure it's beautiful!
Good for you!
I love the name already !
but I know exactly how you feel with the name stealing 🙁 happened here toi. I also told my husband that with our next baby we would never share the name not even when the baby would be born I was being a little dramatic haha
Good for you!! You did a great job naming Parker and Jolie, I know this name will be great too. We had a twin pregnancy and a single and we didn't share our names with anyone at all till after they were born. We loved doing it like that and will do the same for baby #4.
I've been in the same situation! My husband and I have had THE name picked out for if we ever had a little girl for years (like literally 3-4 years). I mentioned it casually in a discussion to a good friend and imagine my surprise and disbelief when they chose that name when they got pregnant. Both my husband and I were a mixture of feeling crushed, betrayed, and furious. Now whether or not our friends remember us telling them about that name, who knows. But I know that I had mentioned it and it just felt like such a betrayal. And I know full well that I don't own any name or have any special claim over it. But it still hurt. They ended up picking a different name once the baby was born, but after going through that heartache (especially since we have been trying to grow our family for some time and they got pregnant totally by accident), the name almost felt tainted and I don't know if I'll feel comfortable using it in the future if we have the opportunity. Ahhhh, babies – the things they do to us!
I know EXACTLY how you feel! We didn't reveal the names of our twins until after they were born for the same reason. Before we were even pregnant I revealed a girls name to my family that I've always loved. My brother made a joke and the entire family laughed. From then on I knew I couldn't give my child that name because my family's reaction would always be in the back of my mind. It's smart to keep your name to yourself, though it's so hard! I will say that not revealing it gives you the opportunity to change it IF you want to. We did that several times and finally settled on names a couple of weeks before they were born. I wish you all the best for baby #3! Introducing a new baby AND a their name makes it that much more special! Congrats!
Good for you Amber! I think in the internet/social media age of over sharing, it's so easy to feel like your pregnancy has been co-opted by the masses. Everyone feels entitled to know every little detail. It's suddenly "ok" to demand to see ultrasound pictures or ask for details of doctors appointments. At least that's how it was for my pregnancy. They were my miracle IVF babies (and what I know will be my only pregnancy) and I know every question came from a place of love, but still. It was my body and my time with them. I didn't let anyone other than my husband feel my kids kick and I got a lot of flack from it, but I wanted to keep something special just between us. It's literally the only time in the world that it's just you and that babe. Once she's out in the world, there will be so many other people to love her and adore her and call her by name. Now, during this so short time inside you, let it be your little family secret.
You go girl! I am 14 weeks pregnant with my first and my husband and I have been playing the name game much more seriously lately. While we don't know the gender just yet, we have already made the mistake of telling people names we liked only to be met by unwanted opinions. No more! I love your twins names and can't wait to find out the newest name addition to your family!
Oh my gosh! You are a girl after my own heart! I honestly felt like I was reading something I would have written myself. My husband and I have had a master list of baby names in the notes section of my phone for the last 8 years. We are always sending names we like back and forth and occasionally some will make it to the list. lol I'm a big name (snob) lover and am not ok with my kids going to school having the same boring name as 5 other kids. Anyway, good for you and I can't wait to hear what baby girls name will be!
I totally agree on keeping the name a secret until they are born! I really wanted to do this with my twin boys but I gave in and told people which names we were thinking, and ended up not using the names because we got such bad comments on them. It made me so sad because I really liked them. I absolutely love the names we ended up choosing but I will definitely keep future babies' names a secret! Good for you! Can't wait to hear what name you have chosen for your newest little girl!
I thought I was the only person that had, quite literally, a chapter book of names in my phone notes! My husband and I have been trying for a family for going on 4 years and we have several names picked out that we are so in love with and we refuse to share them with anyone!
Mostly, I'm scared someone will get pregnant before me (I would bet money on it) and will use "our" names. People think I'm silly but I just really don't care! I love that you guys are keeping this special time and special name a secret!
My first two daughters are only 15 months apart. (I have three daughters) My #2 was named after a cute little spunky pregnant girl with a swingy little blonde bob. She was wearing the most perfect maternity outfit and sat across from me knitting in my doctor's waiting room. I could not take my eyes off of her. I was so uncomfortable that day and feeling like a whale in my sweat pants. (There were no yoga pants then!) The nurse opened the door and called her name and she jumped up and went bebop pin back. Her name was Brooke. Now my Brooke is turning 24 next week! The right name comes from nowhere and just sticks! My Brooke bebops too!
Good for you. People are so freaking judgemental. Argh! I wish we would have made a master list of names. We have three girls and girl names are so hard for us. Our oldest is Courtney and I love it! As for the twins, I wish we had taken a little more time to pick names. Don't get me wrong, we love them. But I just wish we may have tried to think of something a little more matchy to big sister. We just sort of picked the two names we could agree on and didn't look any further. My 14 month old girls are Nicole and Harper. (Apparently Harper is a boy name because everyone thinks its a boy when talking to the doctors office and such). Of course we've had boys names picked out forever (Trevor and Gavin). We will not be trying for a boy. 😉
I don't know you personally but man, I love you. Love your disclaimer and I really hope people LISTEN to all the good insight you are offering in this post.
We didn't share our boys names until they were born b/c 1. I wanted to meet them first. 2. I didn't want anyone to ruin it for me.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that has a HUGE list of names in the Note section on my iPhone. I always say I'm never going to share my list ever, because I am sure I would get some weird looks or comments. But I love them, just like you love yours! GOOD for you for waiting to share! But, I can't wait to hear baby #3's name! 🙂
PS: I know you are a foodie like me, head over to my blog piggypancakes.blogspot.com and give it some love 🙂
You go girl! So many people think they can tell you how to run your life, judging everything! Bottom line is, you have to do what you have to do to be happy! Those that care about you will endure the waiting- that includes me! I am so happy and thrilled for you and your soon-to-be family of 5! I pray that your pregnancy is a happy and healthy one and I know that baby girl #3 will have just as beautiful of a name as P&J! From one Texas girl to another- keep your head up and haters down!
God Bless!
http://pendingconceivability.blogspot.com/
Guess I would have answered my own question had I been caught up on you blog, lol! It makes me so so sad that people choose to share their opinion when its not always wanted! Whatever name you pick out will be perfect just like your girls, I can't wait! I loved seeing ya today! You and you're little family are just precious!
Now I can't wait to hear baby girl's name! I can't believe someone told you they hated the name when they don't even know it. How rude. My girls names weren't even on the top 1000 baby names list and it drove people nuts. I didn't care one bit. 🙂
I am with you 100%!!!! No, you don't own the name but it was a name special to you and now you can't use it. We named our son Crew Michael last year, a name special to my husband. I have NEVER come across that name in a book, movie or real life. A few weeks ago a friend of a friend had a boy and named him Crew Matthew. I was livid! No I have no claim over it but it was special to us and now someone in the same town will have the same name! We also get a lot of "oh that's different…" But we love it!
We didn't tell anyone our name choices ahead of time so we wouldn't hear opinions or have them stolen, yet we still almost had to change ours because a very famous couple used it and we didn't want people to think we'd copied them! In the end, it was the only boy name we both really loved so we used it anyway, figuring the only people who'd have something nasty to say about the "same name" thing would be people who weren't really happy for us in the first place.
It sucks that your friends have used your names, but I understand how it could happen. Naming a child is so hard because it's permanent and means a lot to the parents. I can see someone having a hard time choosing one, then having a name you mentioned come into their head and feeling such a strong connection and "yes!" feeling that they just couldn't not use it. I think we all got that feeling when we chose our babies' names, right? And we knew we wouldn't give those names up no matter what anyone said. Maybe since you did share and sound like you have a large list, they figured you could pick something else.
Again, it definitely sucks, but pregnant women don't always make good (or at least non-hormonal) decisions and you do have to put your own family first, right? And hey, apparently you're an awesome baby-namer! It *is* pretty cool that you've helped friends find the perfect names for their kids.
It is reassuring that baby-name-theft is an international thing… We had a boys name picked out for our first and when she arrived a girl, we banked the boys name for a later date. A year later, a friend "stole" the name too – without ever mentioning it until the birth announcement arrived – we were gutted! We have moved on now and now our boys name (after having two girls) is safely tucked away for safe keeping – not losing out again! x