mama confessions | because I’m not the only one..

1.) washing my hair is the biggest chore on the planet. 1-2 days a week MAX. even while working out 5 days a week.. I just shower with a towel wrapped around my head and then blow dry that sweat right out:)
2.) it occasionally takes two trips through the Starbuck’s line to make it through errands with three kids all by myself.  Parker calls me out every.single.time.
3.) I do not succeed in the laundry department.  I actually fail miserably.  
4.) we eat cereal for dinner at least once a week.
5.) my favorite tv shows are teen mom 2 and keeping up with the kardashians.. and watching #hashtags on youtube.
6.) I’ve been caught a handful of times by a toddler than knows her story books by heart skipping pages.
7.) q-tips completely gross me out.  I can handle poop.  I can handle snot.  I can even handle puke (sometimes) but when it comes to ear wax I literally cannot tolerate it. 
8.) going to the grocery store often times means that we open a bag of pretzels or package of goldfish while we shop.  by the time we get to the register I hand the checkout person an empty bag to ring up. 
hey.  whatever works.

9.) the big girls know the word ‘spicy’ because I tell them things are spicy even when they’re not so I can eat an entire meal without sharing.
10.) it takes me a longgggg time to pee when I have the hubby to man the children.
11.) when Jordan is home in the mornings the twins (most of the time its Parker) always wake their dad up.  they know for a fact their mother wont budge if its before 8am.
12.) if its just the girls at home, 9 times out of 10 I wake to my entire king size bed filled with puzzles, books, and Barbies.  because they know for a fact their mother wont budge before 8am.  

13.) I am absolutely TERRIBLE at remembering to brush Parker and Jolie’s teeth.  I’ve started to set a reminder alarm in my phone so I don’t forget!
14.) we have a room in the house that is stacked with party stuff, holiday decor, clothes, toys..  just a random slew of things that don’t have a place.  that door stays shut. 
out of sight out of mind.

15.) when Baker stopped nursing last month I was really sad, I absolutely dreaded buying formula, and feared nearly to tears over giving her that first formula bottle.  BUT in those same moments felt a hint of relief and freedom.  with two other babies running around and taking advantage of the time their mother is out of service– I never realized how difficult it could be! scheduling my work day around pumping was one of the most stressful things of my life.
16.) Jolie and Parker talk about poop all day long.  for whatever reason I was convinced that GIRLS wouldn’t talk like this.  but if the toddler humor shoe fits..
17.)  Parker tells me my breath stinks every morning.  like clock work.
18.) I used Amazon Prime NOW for the first time last week.  I bought three boxes of super tampons and a handful of organic baby food pouches.  you never can be too prepared!
19.) the extra five minutes it takes me to wash my face and brush my teeth before bed is almost as bad as washing my hair.  
why is it so annoying?! 
I’ll tell you why.  I want to go to sleep
20.) Jordan: finish dinner so we can go take a shower, Jolie.
Jolie: I really have to go potty!!
Jordan: you can go potty when you get in the shower- take that last bite.
Jolie: DAD!  we cannot go poop in the shower!!
poop.  #allday

motherhood is FULL of manic moments, you know?!

June 1, 2016

  1. Heather B. says:

    Hi! I started following your blog when I had my baby girl a month after Baker was born, so I've been lurking for almost a year now…this is BY FAR the best post I have ever read. I love it. It is my life in a nutshell. πŸ™‚

  2. Kelsi Strong says:

    Haha THANK YOU! Hearing other moms say it makes me feel less guilty πŸ˜‰ Your girls are darling!

  3. Sarah says:

    Loved this post. I hate washing my hair so much. Thank you for being totally honest.

  4. I. Love. You. Haha! this is hilarious and all too relatable! Did I spell that right???

  5. lsadler says:

    Oh goodness! I laughed out loud at this list! So many things we do as moms that we we don't share. This post totally made me love your blog even more. Thanks for sharing! BTW with my second boy we switched to formula sooner than I had with the first. I felt guilty at first but the freedom was amazing!

  6. The Joiners says:

    Love this! These types of posts are always so refreshing and easy to relate to, so thanks for sharing πŸ™‚ And amen to #9!

  7. Katey Lewis says:

    Haha, brilliant! I loved this. It's so nice to read about the things we rarely tells others πŸ™‚

  8. haha SOOO many of these are true for us as well! Are there actually mothers who can grocery shop WITHOUT giving their children food to eat while shopping?

  9. Nicole says:

    Ok, so this was the BEST ever! Love it and also the same things are true in my house! πŸ™‚

  10. Nicki Baum says:

    I LOVED this post! Thank you for it πŸ™‚ I have a 5 year old little boy and 18 month old boy/girl twins. I am also terrible at remembering to brush teeth, and I'm so glad to hear someone else admit to taking a lonnngg time to pee when the hubby is at home to help man kiddos! Seriously. I thought I was the only terrible wife who did that!!

  11. *Irene* says:

    Do you mind sharing what kind of formula you bought? My son is 9.5 months and we are about to make the switch. πŸ™‚

  12. amber says:

    I don't mind at all! We started with Similac (bought it in bulk at Costco!) and then switched to the equivalent of the Target brand. Its a huge container! When I asked the pediatrician what she 'recommended' she didnt have one except to say that all of them are formulated to the same FDA standard:) Hope that helps!

  13. Love your honesty, so many of your points apply to me as well!!

  14. alison says:

    Ok teen mom 2 is my obsession too! My husband hates it but it's just so addicting!

  15. I don't watch tv hardly ever but I have watched teen mom religiously since it started!!! And my husband watches it with me. I told my 10 year old she was messy the other day and she said "mom so are you". And she's so right lol. I stink at laundry too! I hate washing my hair (dry shampoo is my best friend) and washing my face is such a long dreaded process (even though it literally takes me less than 5 minutes). Thanks for opening up and making other moms feel like humans haha.

  16. Darcy Potter says:

    This post had me laughing at loud! πŸ™‚ All these things are the story of my life and glad to hear I'm not the only one! Thanks for the giggle and stayin real my friend πŸ™‚ Hugs and luvs, Darcy

  17. Laughing out loud because you literally just described my life. You are definitely not the only one, mama! haha! I also like knowing I'm not the only one. πŸ™‚

  18. Loved this post and can relate to so many of these πŸ˜‰

  19. Amanda says:

    I love every single thing about this post! I can relate to probably 98% of them!

  20. Oh my gosh!! I LOVE this! I only have one babe, but can totally relate.

  21. Jamie says:

    Love all of your "mama confessions" !! Thank you for being so real and open! Love the humor in it :))